We're all thinking this, right? My hope is that if I write it down, it will stop being funny to me.
*********
"No way, man, no way. This isn't what Brock would've wanted, man."
"I'm sorry to have to keep reminding you of this, but Brock's not here anymore. It's just us. Just us, alone in the cosmos."
"Pfft, don't be LAME, dude. Cosmos are a girl's drink. I learned that from a Playboy I found!"
"Soooo... What should we do now?"
"Anything we want!"
"Like drive to Brisbyland???"
"Yeah! Best idea ever! The car! We need to take Brock's car and treasure it, and, and take care of it... and... and... um..."
"And fight mummies! And ghost pirates! Like Giant Boy Detective would!"
"Golly! Now you're talking. But we're not boy detectives. Not anymore. If we have a car, then that makes us men."
"But people still might come looking for us. We need to change our names."
"Good one! Okay, I'm naming myself Brock Two."
"No, that's a terrible idea. We need normal-people names. You shouldn't name yourself like you're the replacement for a dead cat. How about... Rupert?"
"No!"
"Or... Henry?"
"Eew, no!"
"What about Eugene?"
"No! You're stupid at names. Why don't you name yourself if you're so good at naming, you big baby."
"I'll be... Sam. I'm naming myself Sam. How's that for a stupid name?"
"Yeah, whatever. Hey, if you're named Sam now, then can I just have your old first name?"
"No!!! That's inappropriate."
"Yeah, WHATEVER, man. You changed your name, no takesy-backsies. So I'm Dean now. Dean Venture. Hey, I feel wussier already!"
"Knock it off!!! Besides, we can't be the Ventures anymore. Not anymore."
"Hey! Hey! Hey! Our last name should be Sampson, in honor of Brock!"
"No, that might be too easy to trace. Maybe we should make ourselves Tesla, after dad's Tesla coil?"
"No, science stuff is lame. Hey, let's name ourselves after some of Brock's stuff. Like, our last name could be Led Zeppelin Two."
"No, let's keep digging through these boxes, though. We might find something good."
"Hey, here's one of Brock's Bowie knives. Don't we know a guy who named himself after one of these?"
"Yeah, that bird guy, but he's kinda scary. Hey look in this box! It's full of really old stuff. Wow, I didn't even know Brock even OWNED any guns, much less a fancy old antique like this one. Look at that engraving. I wonder if it's killed werewolves? Maybe we should name ourselves after it!"
"What, Dusty? 'Cause it's so DUSTY in here."
"Hey, quit being a goof and help me out here!"
"I'm not a goof, you're a CRUMB-BUMB and it's too dusty in here. I'm going to go wait in the car and listen to cassette tapes."
*********
And with THAT, ladies and gentlemen, I come one step closer to ruining television for everyone, everywhere, at all times. You're welcome.
*********
Captain's Log, Supplemental.
I just realized that a lot of my friends only watch one or the either of the two shows addressed in this "amusing myself because I'm bored" parody of television.
Checking Wikipedia or fan pages or the IMDB or whatever will give you more thorough information about whichever program you may not be familiar with, but instead helping you get started on your research in any sort of helpful or meaningful way, here's some David Bowie stuff from both The Venture Bros and Supernatural, to show that I like scanning YouTube for clips from television shows that include something about David Bowie:
*********
"No way, man, no way. This isn't what Brock would've wanted, man."
"I'm sorry to have to keep reminding you of this, but Brock's not here anymore. It's just us. Just us, alone in the cosmos."
"Pfft, don't be LAME, dude. Cosmos are a girl's drink. I learned that from a Playboy I found!"
"Soooo... What should we do now?"
"Anything we want!"
"Like drive to Brisbyland???"
"Yeah! Best idea ever! The car! We need to take Brock's car and treasure it, and, and take care of it... and... and... um..."
"And fight mummies! And ghost pirates! Like Giant Boy Detective would!"
"Golly! Now you're talking. But we're not boy detectives. Not anymore. If we have a car, then that makes us men."
"But people still might come looking for us. We need to change our names."
"Good one! Okay, I'm naming myself Brock Two."
"No, that's a terrible idea. We need normal-people names. You shouldn't name yourself like you're the replacement for a dead cat. How about... Rupert?"
"No!"
"Or... Henry?"
"Eew, no!"
"What about Eugene?"
"No! You're stupid at names. Why don't you name yourself if you're so good at naming, you big baby."
"I'll be... Sam. I'm naming myself Sam. How's that for a stupid name?"
"Yeah, whatever. Hey, if you're named Sam now, then can I just have your old first name?"
"No!!! That's inappropriate."
"Yeah, WHATEVER, man. You changed your name, no takesy-backsies. So I'm Dean now. Dean Venture. Hey, I feel wussier already!"
"Knock it off!!! Besides, we can't be the Ventures anymore. Not anymore."
"Hey! Hey! Hey! Our last name should be Sampson, in honor of Brock!"
"No, that might be too easy to trace. Maybe we should make ourselves Tesla, after dad's Tesla coil?"
"No, science stuff is lame. Hey, let's name ourselves after some of Brock's stuff. Like, our last name could be Led Zeppelin Two."
"No, let's keep digging through these boxes, though. We might find something good."
"Hey, here's one of Brock's Bowie knives. Don't we know a guy who named himself after one of these?"
"Yeah, that bird guy, but he's kinda scary. Hey look in this box! It's full of really old stuff. Wow, I didn't even know Brock even OWNED any guns, much less a fancy old antique like this one. Look at that engraving. I wonder if it's killed werewolves? Maybe we should name ourselves after it!"
"What, Dusty? 'Cause it's so DUSTY in here."
"Hey, quit being a goof and help me out here!"
"I'm not a goof, you're a CRUMB-BUMB and it's too dusty in here. I'm going to go wait in the car and listen to cassette tapes."
*********
And with THAT, ladies and gentlemen, I come one step closer to ruining television for everyone, everywhere, at all times. You're welcome.
*********
Captain's Log, Supplemental.
I just realized that a lot of my friends only watch one or the either of the two shows addressed in this "amusing myself because I'm bored" parody of television.
Checking Wikipedia or fan pages or the IMDB or whatever will give you more thorough information about whichever program you may not be familiar with, but instead helping you get started on your research in any sort of helpful or meaningful way, here's some David Bowie stuff from both The Venture Bros and Supernatural, to show that I like scanning YouTube for clips from television shows that include something about David Bowie:
